The Joke Thread

Let me tell you a story.
There was once a cat with 16 lives.
It was hit by a 4X4.
End of story.

I thought it was funny...

 

@Firefly cheesy! lol

 

Man who runs in front of car becomes 'tyred'.

Man who runs behind car becomes 'exhausted'.


:hides:

 

Now this... is a taxi!

And this... Is safety awareness!

 

@Barry.M Ha! I love how there's a helmet on the handlebars of the bike :alberteinstein:

Also... With regards to your signature of Einstein's quote, what about Anabas?

 

[FONT=&amp]Two aliens, Zorg and Blath, landed in the Karoo near an old petrol station.[/FONT]

[FONT=&amp]They approached the closest pump and Zorg said to it "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader. "[/FONT]

[FONT=&amp]The petrol pump, of course, did not respond.[/FONT]

[FONT=&amp]Zorg repeated the greeting and there was still no response.[/FONT]

[FONT=&amp]Annoyed by what he perceived as the gas pump's haughty attitude, Zorg drew his ray gun and said impatiently, "Greetings Earthling, we come in peace. Why do you dare ignore us this way? Take us to your leader now, or I will be forced to fire upon you."[/FONT]

[FONT=&amp]Blath began to warn his comrade, "No, you must not anger him................", but ...before he could finish his warning Zorg fired upon the gas pump.[/FONT]

[FONT=&amp]There was an almighty explosion that blew both of them 200 meters into the veld where they landed in a heap.[/FONT]
[FONT=&amp]When they finally regained consciousness (aliens have tough skin) Zorg turned to Blath and said "What a ferocious creature. It nearly killed us. How did you determine it to be so dangerous?"[/FONT]

[FONT=&amp]Blath answered, "If there is one thing I have learned in my travels throughout the galaxy, it is that if a guy has a penis he can wrap around himself twice and then stick in his own ear, don't mess with him."[/FONT]

 

What does an oke from Brakpan do when he wins Gold in the Olympics?

Hy chrome hom Pappie...

 

Wireless technology!

 

Hoekom drink krugersdorpers so baie as hulle na ‘n braai toe gaan?

Sodat hulle kinders nie kan ruik hulle het vleis ge-eet as hulle by die
huis kom nie.:laugh:

 

:d

 

So, there was a bit of snow today!

 

First Olympic sailing result just in. Great Britain has taken gold, Nieu Zeeland has taken silver and Somalia has taken the boat.

 

South africa has already won the olympics with 3 gold medals, 1 silver and one Oscar
​

 

http://nationalaquarium.wordpress.c...es-from-the-national-aquariums-facebook-fans/

 

Sy't haar 1ste gesins voorligting gehad en haar ma vra belangstellend hoe
het dit gegaan.

"Ek skaam my morsdood" antwoord Sannie. "

Koos hier oorkant sê dat Ooievaar die babas bring. Annie sê dat jy 'n baba
in die kinderhuis kan koop en Piet sê jy kry babas by die hospitaal."

"Maar Sannie dis tog nie iets om jou dood te skaam nie" sê haar ma laggend.

"Nee, maar ek durf nie vertel dat ons so arm is dat pappa ons self moes
maak nie!!"

 

Found this on 9gag, thought it was funny:

 

Found this on Facebook.

 

Sent from my iPhone using 100% recycled words!

 

lol!