Something Funny

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...

The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked him why, he replied,

"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"



And that's how the fight started...


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I asked my wife,

'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.

So I suggested,

'How about the kitchen?'



And that's when the fight started...


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My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said,

'Do you want to have $ex?'

'No,' she answered.

I then said,

'Is that your final answer?'

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying

'Yes.'

So I said,

'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'



And that's when the fight started...


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I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'

He said,

'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'

'Nah, she can order for herself.'



And that's when the fight started...


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My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels.

She asked,

'What's on TV?'

I said,

'Dust.'



And then the fight started...


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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said,

'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a scale.



And then the fight started...


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My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her,

'Do you know him?'

'Yes,'

she sighed,

'He's my old boyfriend... I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.'


I said,

'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'



And then the fight started...



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THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER:



When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.

But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf. Always something more important to me.



Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.

I said,

'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.'



The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

 

Thats brilliant,good joke.

 

Those were BRILLIANT!!

 

HAHAHA classic!!! That last one... ooooh LOL

 

Nice!

Just what I needed at the moment!!

Cheers
G!

 

hahaha a scale! thats tops

 

Nice!

Women are such fighters - lol

 

BWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Love the lawnmower one!!

 

man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different
hell for each country. He decides he'll pick the least painful to spend
his eternity. He goes to German Hell and asks, "What do they do here?"
He is told first they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then
they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil
comes in and whips you for the rest of the day". The man does not like
the sound of that at all so he moves on. He checks out the USA Hell as
well as the Russian Hell and many more. He discovers that they are all
similar to the German hell.
Then he comes to the South African Hell and finds that there is a long
line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What do they do
here?" He is told: first they put you in an electric chair for an hour.
Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. The South African
devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day. "But that is
exactly the same as all the other hells. Why are there so many people
waiting to get in?" he asks. "Because Eskom is struggling and is
powerless, there is never any electricity, so the electric chair does
not work. The nails were paid for but never supplied, so the bed is
comfortable to sleep on. And, on top of that, the South African devil is
a government employee, he won't come to work till he gets his 12%
increase, which of course will never happen!

 

that is some funny stuff there guys, I haven't laughed so hard in ages

 

Here's a difficult one.

This test only has one question, but it's a very important one.
By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand
morally.
The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in
which you will have to make a decision.

THE SITUATION
Johannesburg has seen it's worst storm in living memory. There
is chaos all around with severe flooding.
You are a photo-journalist working for a major newspaper, and
you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster. The situation is
nearly hopeless.
You're trying to shoot career-making photos.
There are houses and people disappearing into the water.
Nature is unleashing all its destructive fury.

THE TEST
Suddenly, you see a man in the water. He is fighting for his
life, trying not to be taken down with the debris.
You move closer... somehow, the man looks familiar...
You suddenly realise who it is... It's Julius Malema!
You notice that the raging waters are about to take him under
forever.

You have two options:
1st you can save the life of Julius Malema or 2nd you can
shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize-winning photo, documenting the death of
one of the country's most powerful men!

THE QUESTION
Here's the question, and please give an honest answer. . .



Would you select high contrast colour film, or would you go
with a more classic ........black and white film?

enjoy!!!!!!

 

ROFL thats a good way to start the weekend .

 

I shoot Digital, so I would have the choice at a much later stage, and could rather sit back and savour the moment!! Who knows, I may even get wet and give the flood water a hand!!

G!

 

ROFL I really enjoyed that one Jesse, it sure made my day after sacrificing my hair for the Cansa Shavathon

 

geat stuff!!!! now that was good... lmao!