Confusing GBR behavior?

About 2 months ago I bought a pair of small GBR's, too small to sex at the time I think. Anyway the one hounded the other one to death so I kept the single remaining one which has been doing well and was a happy fish. This one was identified after posting some pics here as a female, which was later confirmed by a spawing of eggs.
After the id'ing here I went to the lfs & asked for a male hoping to make happy even more happier anyway I was sold what is supposed to be a male and added it to the tank. At first everything seemed fine the pair were swimming around together and the next day spawned on the back & end of the spraybar then hollowed out a "nest" in the gravel and protected it for a day & a half. Now after this episode the supposed male has started hounding the female which by the way is the larger of the two and chasing her around constantly. My concern is that I'm going to lose her as well.
Could it be possible that the one sold to me as a male is in actuality a female as when I saw them in the lfs they all looked pale and too small to sex correctlyand if it is a female what can I do to stop the harassment. Could I add another male, more females?

 

howzit, i had 4 of them identified as 2 females and 2 males. they never really paired up, had the same issues chasing each other, and one by one they died. im left with one and he seams happy by himself.
how big is your tank, have you got enough cover for them? are you keeping your water quality up to standard? all plays a role. im not too sure if the male gets over protective over the eggs and chases the female away, i know it does occur with some fish..

 

Hi Ammar, the tank is 216lts and they and the water are really healthy, when feeding their colors are outstanding. They have enough cover to not see each other for quite long periods. If this continues I'll get rid of one & keep a single GBR as this seems to be the answer.
This so called male even tries to bully the other fish at feeding time but the honey gourami stands it ground, real cocky little fella.

 

they are beautiful fish mine also had amazing colour you can see him in my Just Fish Pics thread. they just a handful to maintain and too stressful i found. i hate loosing fish. so for now my 1GBR is enjoying 700L of paradise for himself

 

Nice pics there of your GBR and the others.

 

Any chance you could post a pic of the "male"? Both parents will raise their young so it could be that you have 2 females.

 

That is my thought exactly seems to me that sexing GBR in a LFS tank is near impossible. Would they calm down if I added more GBR's or would that just agitate them even more?
I don't have the best camera but will try & take a pic or two in the next few days.

 

I don't think adding another GBR male or female will help. They are monogamous pairs so if your new GBR paired with one of your potentially 2 females the other would get attacked/chased. I had 3 in my tank until a week ago but my ratio was 2 males and 1 female. 2 have paired and the other gets chased away a lot by the paired male. I have added another female to see if it helps but currently the paired male seems to be keeping both females nearby :cheesy:

 

Just to add to the above, my LFS has a tank with what looks like a hundred GBR's together and if you watch them for awhile you will notice them chasing each other occasionally but otherwise they all seem to be content together???

 

Rams are cichlids and as with any cichlic, they are individuals which makes it difficult to generalise.

However, my guess is that your 'male' is in fact a male but a pic would help in making certain.

In my opinion, you should have a pair or you should have many. I kept 14 rams in a tank and I have seen 'monogamous' pairs swop partners like swingers with resulting spawns - sadly I never raised any fry to adulthood.

Any cichlid - male or female - can and will kill their partner when in the mood to do so, ask anybody who has bred any cichlid. Midas, Jaguar, Oscar, Mbuna and others jump to mind.